when you stop loving someone, there is that strange intangible feeling that occupies the space in your heart and your head. big part of it is just indifference, and other parts are a mix of longing for a piece of yourself that was lost along the way and the idea of that person you loved, and feeling of hopelessness that you will still ever love the same again. at the same time, everything that you experienced no longer feel so real and the memories you had with them felt like memories you heard that belong to someone else - like an old friend that you haven't heard in a while. the infatuation you experienced felt so stupid and immature. even the part of you that insisted to wait for them to come back just evaporated to thin air. maybe the love was never real - i just made them all up in my head when i was young and desperate for attention and validation. there is that feeling of defeat instead of pain knowing that the there is nothing left to fight for. but there is also that slight relief knowing that i will no longer be hurt.
