when i was a little girl, i used to think that i'll get married and have a beautiful little family to myself. but the older i get the more i realise maybe im not meant for that - i don't feel like i'm meant for love and it's okay. i do envy those people who get to hold hands in shopping mall while pushing a baby stroller. they'd get ice cream and show the very well-dressed baby the fish pond by the shopping mall. but i am also very happy for them, and i congratulate them silently and wish them the best.
i've given up on love - i know it exists but it's not for me. everything with love feels so hollow and empty. it's only a matter of time until they realise that there is someone so much better than me whom are more worthy of loving and have more to give. it's not a bad thing - it is just what it is. im not made for love and i don't think there is love out there that is made for me. i am my own love.
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